the really bad sad thing.
ugh like it use to
i mean bad day turned worse (wanna tell someone how bad it is) and then it gets worse
ugh and today was good and after work i was soo happy and positive and then my family thing happened so that was shot to hell. eh it was simple, they yelled at me cause I turned "the wrong way". it was the way I think is fastest but no. and it would take even longer to turn around but she kepted yelling at me and instead of wasting even more time I did but it made me in a bad mood. then church so i was better but when I was sharing about my day my mom wasn't listening (she never does) and then said I talk too much. (when they are all always talking about the boring vaccuum business, which it's not like it excites them) so idk made me sad. On the verge of crying all dinner. and then i didn't feel good.
and then i came home to talk to the one person who was suppose to cheer me up and he was mad at me. and it made me feel worse and ive been slightly crying (trying super hard to hold it back) and then it makes me feel worse (like hurt so bad in the pit of my stomach) that hes upset, and that i did it, and then i haven't been what I should to him, and that he's not happy with me, and that he thinks i dont care when i do
so now i dont know what to recover, or what to say, and i dont wanna think cause it hurts
I wrote more than I thought but I can't think about being sad anymore, i just want this to go away and happy to come so bad
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A prayer I'll never forget
I said:Dear God, thanks for putting such a special person in my life. I know I complain a lot but I don't take for granted what we have and I'm so blessed to know such a wonderful person
He said:Dear lord. Thank you for all the blessings you have given me. my life, my family, my friends
I said:Thank you for all I have that others don't. A warm place to live and all the extra stuff (computer to meet my Mikeypoo)
He said:Thank you for the gifts you have given me. My health. My talent. My ability to love
I said:Thank you for giving Mike the ability to love! :) please help our relationship be how it's meant to be so we are both happy
He said:Thank you for giving me understanding people in my life. I know i'm far from perfect but you have given me so many special people who love me anyways
He said:Watch over my grandma
I said:Please help all the people who don't have food, shelter, family, good health (Mental and physical)
I said:help my grandma from her fall and help her get her strength back
He said:And thank you for Salena. Please watch over her too. She is some of your greatest work :). Thank you for allowing me to meet someone so special
I said: aww. God, forgive me for all my sins I have done and continue doing. Help me learn and live to care and help others
He said:Please help me to be more understanding. More tolerent. Control my jealousy. Control my thought and feelings. Let me realize that I am a good person and that I have worth
I said:Please watch over Michael Kirk Stewart and make his heart happy and have someone find him who loves him as much as I do
He said:Help me to resist the negative thigns that have brought me down in the past. let me honor you with my actions. Forgive me for the things that haven't honored you. help me to be a good person
I said: Thank you for bringing the best person in my life and give me this amazing feeling in my heart. I love you God. Amen
He said: Ya what she said :) no thank you for Salena. Thank you for letting her in my heart. Thank you for allowing me to feel this way about a person. amen
He said:Dear lord. Thank you for all the blessings you have given me. my life, my family, my friends
I said:Thank you for all I have that others don't. A warm place to live and all the extra stuff (computer to meet my Mikeypoo)
He said:Thank you for the gifts you have given me. My health. My talent. My ability to love
I said:Thank you for giving Mike the ability to love! :) please help our relationship be how it's meant to be so we are both happy
He said:Thank you for giving me understanding people in my life. I know i'm far from perfect but you have given me so many special people who love me anyways
He said:Watch over my grandma
I said:Please help all the people who don't have food, shelter, family, good health (Mental and physical)
I said:help my grandma from her fall and help her get her strength back
He said:And thank you for Salena. Please watch over her too. She is some of your greatest work :). Thank you for allowing me to meet someone so special
I said: aww. God, forgive me for all my sins I have done and continue doing. Help me learn and live to care and help others
He said:Please help me to be more understanding. More tolerent. Control my jealousy. Control my thought and feelings. Let me realize that I am a good person and that I have worth
I said:Please watch over Michael Kirk Stewart and make his heart happy and have someone find him who loves him as much as I do
He said:Help me to resist the negative thigns that have brought me down in the past. let me honor you with my actions. Forgive me for the things that haven't honored you. help me to be a good person
I said: Thank you for bringing the best person in my life and give me this amazing feeling in my heart. I love you God. Amen
He said: Ya what she said :) no thank you for Salena. Thank you for letting her in my heart. Thank you for allowing me to feel this way about a person. amen
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Haven't posted one on here for a while
SO, I officially have 3 different blogs for 3 different reasons and for a while I hadn't posted on any but the other two recently I have been so I thought I'd do a quit one here. So, I should exercise but now I don't feel good. I came home and am going on all the internet sites, twitter, youtube, ext. So, I'm subscribed to Ellen on twitter and I saw a clip of one of her episodes and it's really funny and also extremely shocking at the end.
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/28pDnV/ellen.warnerbros.com/2010/02/bad-paid-for-photos-0210.php/r:t
there is the link. check it out. Go to like the last 30 seconds and see a picture of the man standing next to it! LOL
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/28pDnV/ellen.warnerbros.com/2010/02/bad-paid-for-photos-0210.php/r:t
there is the link. check it out. Go to like the last 30 seconds and see a picture of the man standing next to it! LOL
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Hair.
Hair is funny.
Actually it's quite gross.
one suggestion
SHAVE
belly hair eww
feet or hand hair EWWW
hair hair hair (you know where) Can you hear me say Yuck!
Odd places, no thank you
and long sweat arm pit hair, haha you'll never see me again
hahaha
ya
so shave people
:)
Completely random...or not
no it is
lol
Actually it's quite gross.
one suggestion
SHAVE
belly hair eww
feet or hand hair EWWW
hair hair hair (you know where) Can you hear me say Yuck!
Odd places, no thank you
and long sweat arm pit hair, haha you'll never see me again
hahaha
ya
so shave people
:)
Completely random...or not
no it is
lol
The truth
I'm a pretty truthful person for the most part, but sometimes I can tell white lies, or make my way around something to avoid hurting someone or making things awkward. The question in this blog though is not weather we, my readers and I, lie but rather if we would prefer people to lie to us or be told the truth.
Right now, I'm not exactly sure, so I hope to find out by the time I end his blog.
I had a pretty hard childhood. I was made fun of a lot for stupid things. I was also in Junior high for things I started believing. You could definitely say it brought my confidence down. I thought high school was going to be better. Friends come and go a lo easier but people don't pick on others for the most part. I love myself, sometimes a little too much. I like my personality, the things I say, the way I act, but I always find the negative. I don't seem to things I do things right or well enough. When people tell me something I do is good, I don't tend to believe them, because chances are they just don't want to be mean. So, would it bother me more if they agreed even though I already thought it. How much does their positive me help me. Well, I do know the answer to that. It helps a lot. Even if I don’t complete believe them, it makes me feel like what I did was enjoyed or intelligent in some way. Something I thought of or worked for was worth it. And what would happen if they said it was bad. As much as I’d like to believe it wouldn’t affect me, it would. Especially from people I care about, and especially when it something especial. Something I made that I shared and if those people that I chose to share it with didn’t like it, I’d be hurt and very disappointed. I’ve always had a feeling that I worse at a lot of things than people, and the things I’m good at like writing, acting, soccer, and basketball, I’m not even that great compared to everyone else. Most of my talents that I excel at compared to other things, most people excel more than me. Or a couple things that I’m even better at, there is still a large group of people who are way better than me. So, how much does it affend me if others think the same. I’m pretty much over what most people think. It’s what I think but with people who are close to me, it’s different. My mom for example, she doesn’t seem to agree or like the things that I think I’m good at, at least not the creative things. She’s supportive with sports and acting but not the things that I tend to do now. It’s kind of kept me from showing her things lately and she’s a lot less involved in my life. There is one person who I show everything too, and I’m proud when I do. I didn’t have that person for a while. Not just the actual person but that support. That I could tell, share, and show everything with. I wouldn’t be afraid that they thought something I did was stupid. They would imbrace it just as much as I did. Some things I love doing but it was hard not having anyone to share them with. So it a blessing that I do now. I’m so thankful. I really am thankful for a lot of things. My family, of course. The things I can use to do the creative things I do and make. I’m thankful for friends and my wonderful house. I’m extremely thankful for that person. I try not to take those things for granted because they really do mean a lot to me. And last I’m SO VERY thankful to God. He’s given me everything. >I know that was really off topic but it was thanksgiving, and I know I’m late but I still had to add it.
So, what’s my conclusion? I think earlier I was leaning toward , the truth can hurt too much. And it’s true. It sucks but if someone doesn’t tell you the truth, that insecurity can always be there because you don’t feel comfortable in believe anything and all of a sudden everything becomes bad. Truth is a wake up call that w aren’t perfect and can’t be but we all are special (haha) and we all are great at things and meant to use are talents and the things we enjoy to help out ourselves, the people around us, and the way the world and community flows.
Right now, I'm not exactly sure, so I hope to find out by the time I end his blog.
I had a pretty hard childhood. I was made fun of a lot for stupid things. I was also in Junior high for things I started believing. You could definitely say it brought my confidence down. I thought high school was going to be better. Friends come and go a lo easier but people don't pick on others for the most part. I love myself, sometimes a little too much. I like my personality, the things I say, the way I act, but I always find the negative. I don't seem to things I do things right or well enough. When people tell me something I do is good, I don't tend to believe them, because chances are they just don't want to be mean. So, would it bother me more if they agreed even though I already thought it. How much does their positive me help me. Well, I do know the answer to that. It helps a lot. Even if I don’t complete believe them, it makes me feel like what I did was enjoyed or intelligent in some way. Something I thought of or worked for was worth it. And what would happen if they said it was bad. As much as I’d like to believe it wouldn’t affect me, it would. Especially from people I care about, and especially when it something especial. Something I made that I shared and if those people that I chose to share it with didn’t like it, I’d be hurt and very disappointed. I’ve always had a feeling that I worse at a lot of things than people, and the things I’m good at like writing, acting, soccer, and basketball, I’m not even that great compared to everyone else. Most of my talents that I excel at compared to other things, most people excel more than me. Or a couple things that I’m even better at, there is still a large group of people who are way better than me. So, how much does it affend me if others think the same. I’m pretty much over what most people think. It’s what I think but with people who are close to me, it’s different. My mom for example, she doesn’t seem to agree or like the things that I think I’m good at, at least not the creative things. She’s supportive with sports and acting but not the things that I tend to do now. It’s kind of kept me from showing her things lately and she’s a lot less involved in my life. There is one person who I show everything too, and I’m proud when I do. I didn’t have that person for a while. Not just the actual person but that support. That I could tell, share, and show everything with. I wouldn’t be afraid that they thought something I did was stupid. They would imbrace it just as much as I did. Some things I love doing but it was hard not having anyone to share them with. So it a blessing that I do now. I’m so thankful. I really am thankful for a lot of things. My family, of course. The things I can use to do the creative things I do and make. I’m thankful for friends and my wonderful house. I’m extremely thankful for that person. I try not to take those things for granted because they really do mean a lot to me. And last I’m SO VERY thankful to God. He’s given me everything. >I know that was really off topic but it was thanksgiving, and I know I’m late but I still had to add it.
So, what’s my conclusion? I think earlier I was leaning toward , the truth can hurt too much. And it’s true. It sucks but if someone doesn’t tell you the truth, that insecurity can always be there because you don’t feel comfortable in believe anything and all of a sudden everything becomes bad. Truth is a wake up call that w aren’t perfect and can’t be but we all are special (haha) and we all are great at things and meant to use are talents and the things we enjoy to help out ourselves, the people around us, and the way the world and community flows.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Why I cry.
I cry when something big happens
And I cry at something small
I cry when I think about my life right now
I cry at the future, i cry at the past, even though I wish nothing could hold me back
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
I cry when I can't handle the pressure
I cry at loosing I'll loose what I have
I cry at wondering when my life will get back on track
I cry at the past, I'm crying right now, and I'll cry until someone tells me how
To stop
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
Oh wo, no one is there to ketch me
nothings there to tell me things will get better
theres no hope in my eyes, every night I despise the mirror
and I
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
audio and pics only no video, cause it wasn't exactly um. ok
And I cry at something small
I cry when I think about my life right now
I cry at the future, i cry at the past, even though I wish nothing could hold me back
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
I cry when I can't handle the pressure
I cry at loosing I'll loose what I have
I cry at wondering when my life will get back on track
I cry at the past, I'm crying right now, and I'll cry until someone tells me how
To stop
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
Oh wo, no one is there to ketch me
nothings there to tell me things will get better
theres no hope in my eyes, every night I despise the mirror
and I
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
audio and pics only no video, cause it wasn't exactly um. ok
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