Is it possible

This is probably going to be one of my most different blogs. I am going to try to make it as long as possible instead of just a couple seconds.

I know it's not possible for me to meet someone like him. I know it is not possible for him to see me. I know its not possible for me to get out of my house, out of my head, out of my e-life, out for the world to see me. Like I have posted before, I love myself, and the things I do. I wish other people could see it. I wish I could make them see it. I wish I laughed more often in front of them. Laughing. It is my favorite thing in the whole world. I am crazy for boys. Comfortable with my friend. Love to act. Feel free and inlove with sports but laughing. I would laugh 24/7 if I could. Anyways, whats possible for me? What is in my range?
So, is it possible for me to have that feeling. Is it possible for it to be real. Will it come unexpectedly. can I make it happen. Can I have the one I want. Can I have the one I need. Is he what I think, what I want.
I kind of have been in a bummed mood. It actually happens a lot. When I am really happy or exited about something and it goes away or I realize, well its not possible. Then I just in a mood where I don't feel like doing anything. It's hard to describe or I think even harder for other people to get. I would normally put this on my other blog. I don't have a name there, I am myself yet a mystery to everyone else but this is here because it's real. I am going to be honest. This is about a boy. Boys. Relationships. it's not only about that but that's what I think would make me happy. Nick Jonas HAHHA. ok maybe that's not exactly how i feel but here is a way to describe it. A metaphor. Now this happens to be a metaphor for something but is also completely true. Is it possible. It is pretty much asking, can you make your dream come true. When your not good enough? When people push you down? when millions of others want the same exact thing you do.
I tons of dreams. I have tons of things I would love to be when I grow up. Some our more realistic then others. I want to be a singer, I love making music videos. I have always wanted to be an actress. I want to own a day care. I want to be a painter. My most realistic dream is I want to be a wedding planner but people say that isn't possible either. So if my simplest dream isn't possible, (aka, boy) then what about the one I really want (aka, crush) or... What about the nearly impossible. Whats more likely out of these choices of jobs? Whats more likely out of these guys? What is more likely the guy i'd do anything for or the dream that would make my life? or is the answer none, no one, nothing.
Please don't comment this because there is no point. It's just a blog, and feelings are not all they seem on paper. But here's another thing.
Singing, im not the best, but even acting there is like no chance. I'd need a manager and even then it would be 1 in 10,000,000. But then again is being a wedding planner possible either? Sometimes it seems like that job that I could have, there is no way I can, so being an actress (famous heart throb haha) is just as likely as being a wedding planner (crush or even suprise guy). There's no chance. No possibility. Sometimes it is just how I feel. Nothing will ever happens. Sometimes that upsets me and other times it scares me. Collage North Western, never gonna happen. Mary Washington in Virginia, Is it possible?