I cry when something big happens
And I cry at something small
I cry when I think about my life right now
I cry at the future, i cry at the past, even though I wish nothing could hold me back
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
I cry when I can't handle the pressure
I cry at loosing I'll loose what I have
I cry at wondering when my life will get back on track
I cry at the past, I'm crying right now, and I'll cry until someone tells me how
To stop
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
Oh wo, no one is there to ketch me
nothings there to tell me things will get better
theres no hope in my eyes, every night I despise the mirror
and I
Don't make me cry again
Don't let me fall from Heaven
The reason that I cry,
the reason why I cry at everything
the reason why I cry
oh, is no one there to stops me
audio and pics only no video, cause it wasn't exactly um. ok
Thursday, September 17, 2009
After the fact
gah. So I wan going to write a blog but now it has to change or im going to make three parts
1st. All the talk about change, he said he didn't want things to change but he knew they would, I said I knew they would too but it was ok, he said he really didn't think things would change
So, obviously things are going to change. A little FYI no more baby, babe, hun, sweetie talk. There's always a number one, and that changes.
I think theses are changes that needed to happened because you can't just look at your food, but then eat desert. You have to eat the desert and maybe take a bite of the desert. HAHA. Will it make me a bigger person? I hope so. Will it make us closer? I hope so.
So. He did it. I knew he would. I'm sure she feels good about it. It's hard to see what it's like from this angle but I wonder where it will go. This is sure to be an intresting year, I just hope it goes bye quickly.
So, I'm going to sit back and watch the change. Mean while lets have Niley Jemily Kaly Story consume all my time.
1st. All the talk about change, he said he didn't want things to change but he knew they would, I said I knew they would too but it was ok, he said he really didn't think things would change
So, obviously things are going to change. A little FYI no more baby, babe, hun, sweetie talk. There's always a number one, and that changes.
I think theses are changes that needed to happened because you can't just look at your food, but then eat desert. You have to eat the desert and maybe take a bite of the desert. HAHA. Will it make me a bigger person? I hope so. Will it make us closer? I hope so.
So. He did it. I knew he would. I'm sure she feels good about it. It's hard to see what it's like from this angle but I wonder where it will go. This is sure to be an intresting year, I just hope it goes bye quickly.
So, I'm going to sit back and watch the change. Mean while lets have Niley Jemily Kaly Story consume all my time.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
hm. ok SO blog idea turned into song.
So I have this idea for a blog but I think imma try and make it into a song
I care, everything, every inch, it means so much to me
but you, especially, i'd give you my everything
It's not like, I need you
but I want you, even more
It's not like, I don't want more than,
I just want you to be happy
I can tell when your happy
and I love, when it's with me
I can see when your smile in your heart
is absolutely complete
I know when she makes feel that way
but I don't need to know why
I just want you to be happy
I love, life itself, everyheart, I come across
but you, have a special place,
a special time I'll never forget
I love, being here, but sometime i feel the wave of fear
I can tell when your happy
and I love, when it's with me
I can see when your smile in your heart
is absolutely complete
I know when she makes feel that way
but I don't need to know why
I just want you to be happy
All these feelings don't mean nothing, gotta shut them out
Life is worth it, life is worth it, I keep tell myself
You are happy, all the details I don't to know,
cause what I can take and care about, all I need to know is your happy
I care, everything, every inch, it means so much to me
but you, especially, i'd give you my everything
It's not like, I need you
but I want you, even more
It's not like, I don't want more than,
I just want you to be happy
I can tell when your happy
and I love, when it's with me
I can see when your smile in your heart
is absolutely complete
I know when she makes feel that way
but I don't need to know why
I just want you to be happy
I love, life itself, everyheart, I come across
but you, have a special place,
a special time I'll never forget
I love, being here, but sometime i feel the wave of fear
I can tell when your happy
and I love, when it's with me
I can see when your smile in your heart
is absolutely complete
I know when she makes feel that way
but I don't need to know why
I just want you to be happy
All these feelings don't mean nothing, gotta shut them out
Life is worth it, life is worth it, I keep tell myself
You are happy, all the details I don't to know,
cause what I can take and care about, all I need to know is your happy
Friday, September 11, 2009
really?
So you have a fun time, lots of good times, great times, you have an opportunity to do the same again but you don't. Why? I don't get it. I don't get a lot of things. Life is so frustrating. I lost my voice. I sound like a guy, but my throat doesn't hurt as much anymore.
Tonight wasn't fun. Mix of bordem, bad mood, secretes, regrets, and jw/of haha
Ya, so this blog is short. I hope this weekend goes good or at least in my seances, I have fun, be creativity with my stuff, exercise, get some sleep, have a good big bother day and hope Jordan wins and picks Natalie, andddd gets all my homework done. :)
happy Saturday! :)
Tonight wasn't fun. Mix of bordem, bad mood, secretes, regrets, and jw/of haha
Ya, so this blog is short. I hope this weekend goes good or at least in my seances, I have fun, be creativity with my stuff, exercise, get some sleep, have a good big bother day and hope Jordan wins and picks Natalie, andddd gets all my homework done. :)
happy Saturday! :)
ha.
Do you remember when you got mad at one of your friends, or pissed off, or w.e. for the first time. When you have a bad feeling, or mood and they are making things worse. I'm listening to Ashly tisdale. Ok this is seriously like a journal cause no one reads it. "OHHH. My head on something real, I like the way that feels" She was on Seventh Heven. It was great. She was so cute, then she dyed her hair black haha.
Do you ever have a wish, or a prayer that just wont be answer, you might even have a couple, and a back up wish if that doesn't happen but nothing works. Ya. It's like Whyy? It's cause we have to work to change things. Nothing comes easy. Or we have to make a choice, even though it would Do you ever miss something, you didn't think you had? I do, all the time, kinda. Urgh. So, for the first time in a while I had a good feeling about something. But it went away because I remembered things like that don't happen to me, and now defiantly not.
Alright. leave a comment with your answers to these three questions
Do you ever have a wish, or a prayer that just wont be answer, you might even have a couple, and a back up wish if that doesn't happen but nothing works. Ya. It's like Whyy? It's cause we have to work to change things. Nothing comes easy. Or we have to make a choice, even though it would Do you ever miss something, you didn't think you had? I do, all the time, kinda. Urgh. So, for the first time in a while I had a good feeling about something. But it went away because I remembered things like that don't happen to me, and now defiantly not.
Alright. leave a comment with your answers to these three questions
pause/i never get to exercising
Alright. the title is simple. i need to work out. I feel horrible, like a fat ass and gahhh it bugs me the fuck out. it actually has been for a couple years, but there was nothing wrong with my wight before. Then it got a little worse and I was unhappy, but, then i didn't care, but now. It's getting to be a problem and I can't stand it but it just wont go away. Im scared it never will. SO. I feel like writing a blog but I was gonna go exercise, hopefully I still will after this.
OK, What am I really jealous of and why. ok, i've figured it out. It's another one of the things that I have feeling that it's harder to put out on paper. I'm a people person. I LOVE soccer and basketball, im so competitive. and I love singing and acting! Also, shows and stuff I like as well but more than anything I love being with people. I can look back and say i've never been happy with what i've had. thats a problem because even though i was happy about what I had, I was happy. I had lots of friends, but I thought it was natural, to have a few people that you just totally fit with and have a blast with. Well unfortunately it isn't like that anymore. I actually am quite fond of myself. I just want others to see it. So back to my question, why do I get jealous, and of who?
Most people. To the feeling that you are loved, liked, adored would/is awesome. To be able to get to know anyone who intrigues you is really cool. OK. this is just an example, but some girls, all (most) guys just adore. There personality helps, but looks come first. A guy would say something like "fuck she was hot. I mean really hot. Like wow!!!" hahas (ya. I know.) anyways. haha. That's power. People say some celebs, or just people in general will do anything for attention, they strive on it, good or bad. That's not true for me. Bad attention is what I try to stay away from, but good attention is everything. So, I haven't written a post in a while and I was going to but i was too lazy. I talked to an old friend, for a long time. A type of friend that I hadn't talked to in a long time, I felt more like how i used to be, free. Not caring what others thought, well to a point. It wasn't that I changed, first school I was so outgoing, but then I took a step back but was just as, or even more outgoing when i acted and played soccer, I guess I always felt comfortable there.
Friends really do change you and thats why I think I am who I am. I don't conform to the other person but how I change is because of our friendship, I might even change more after it. I've had 13 best friends. So let me name them for you, Preschool best friend (Katie), First grade best friend (crazy mom), Best friend all through elementary school (don't remember it that much but I was really close to her, only friend to BECOME popular), another one during elementary school who everyone wanted to be her friend, she was popular. Then there was my BEST friend from 4th-6th grade. We did everything together. (This is when I started moving away from other kids, we were practically each others only friends, lived 20 houses away from me)I did have one other during that time that completes the 5 main during elementary school (town boy in my neighbor hood). Then, the one that I still see sometimes, one summer we hung out had triple sleep overs and were best friend for a long time. After that in 7th grade the best year for a day I had one or something, we were in a group of friend and it's complicated (drama). Then I had three best friends at the same time. I was so happy but things got complicated, STUPID MYSPACE!, haha. There was Hannah. I loved her and she was kinda like my sister. Then there was Dee. I had soo much fun with her and we hung out all the time, but she had a different group of friends, that ended up becoming a problem. Then there was Karen, I am still good friends with her. And i'd say she felt like my best friend the most out of anyone. Then there was a really nice girl. lols. I don't know if thats all of them but I think it is. I've had good friends along the way, but these were my best friends, ohh one more that I was close with and don't really know how it happened but it ended. Oh, and my current one. Katrina. But I have a couple really good friends also right now. :)
umm WOW sorry guys. I really got off track here. and I could go a million different way with every sentence. this could become a book. LOL JK
OK, What am I really jealous of and why. ok, i've figured it out. It's another one of the things that I have feeling that it's harder to put out on paper. I'm a people person. I LOVE soccer and basketball, im so competitive. and I love singing and acting! Also, shows and stuff I like as well but more than anything I love being with people. I can look back and say i've never been happy with what i've had. thats a problem because even though i was happy about what I had, I was happy. I had lots of friends, but I thought it was natural, to have a few people that you just totally fit with and have a blast with. Well unfortunately it isn't like that anymore. I actually am quite fond of myself. I just want others to see it. So back to my question, why do I get jealous, and of who?
Most people. To the feeling that you are loved, liked, adored would/is awesome. To be able to get to know anyone who intrigues you is really cool. OK. this is just an example, but some girls, all (most) guys just adore. There personality helps, but looks come first. A guy would say something like "fuck she was hot. I mean really hot. Like wow!!!" hahas (ya. I know.) anyways. haha. That's power. People say some celebs, or just people in general will do anything for attention, they strive on it, good or bad. That's not true for me. Bad attention is what I try to stay away from, but good attention is everything. So, I haven't written a post in a while and I was going to but i was too lazy. I talked to an old friend, for a long time. A type of friend that I hadn't talked to in a long time, I felt more like how i used to be, free. Not caring what others thought, well to a point. It wasn't that I changed, first school I was so outgoing, but then I took a step back but was just as, or even more outgoing when i acted and played soccer, I guess I always felt comfortable there.
Friends really do change you and thats why I think I am who I am. I don't conform to the other person but how I change is because of our friendship, I might even change more after it. I've had 13 best friends. So let me name them for you, Preschool best friend (Katie), First grade best friend (crazy mom), Best friend all through elementary school (don't remember it that much but I was really close to her, only friend to BECOME popular), another one during elementary school who everyone wanted to be her friend, she was popular. Then there was my BEST friend from 4th-6th grade. We did everything together. (This is when I started moving away from other kids, we were practically each others only friends, lived 20 houses away from me)I did have one other during that time that completes the 5 main during elementary school (town boy in my neighbor hood). Then, the one that I still see sometimes, one summer we hung out had triple sleep overs and were best friend for a long time. After that in 7th grade the best year for a day I had one or something, we were in a group of friend and it's complicated (drama). Then I had three best friends at the same time. I was so happy but things got complicated, STUPID MYSPACE!, haha. There was Hannah. I loved her and she was kinda like my sister. Then there was Dee. I had soo much fun with her and we hung out all the time, but she had a different group of friends, that ended up becoming a problem. Then there was Karen, I am still good friends with her. And i'd say she felt like my best friend the most out of anyone. Then there was a really nice girl. lols. I don't know if thats all of them but I think it is. I've had good friends along the way, but these were my best friends, ohh one more that I was close with and don't really know how it happened but it ended. Oh, and my current one. Katrina. But I have a couple really good friends also right now. :)
umm WOW sorry guys. I really got off track here. and I could go a million different way with every sentence. this could become a book. LOL JK
Friday, September 4, 2009
SO many things to post about.
Lets see. the school year started. yay. not really.
Sophomore year is so stressful. The classes take a year per class, so ridiculous plus there is TONS of home work. like worst week of my life. or stressful/bad luck. I have bad luck. Very bad lucky. Something about me is just so unlucky. The luckiest thing about me is I have God. OK. this will be another blog about Boys. o man. here we go.
OK. 2 twin boys. not from school. SO SO Adorable. Hot? not really. They look to be a year or two younger which sux but damn. haha. stare at guys, creepy. haha. red head. lol. but not in school. no nvm, but they dreamy, in a two year/one year younger way.
ugh. drama guys-cute, but too much drama. really. its called lightening up. o well.
ugh. very cute drama guys though. shuuu don't tell.
lets see.
ugh. my wish. i like a guy. cause im boy crazy so i like lots of guys. forget about him. (doesn't mean I don't like him) one day he turns around and says i like you.
haha im a dork. ;). o and im going to homecoming. im going to homecoming. with a date. or not, with Katrina :)
Sophomore year is so stressful. The classes take a year per class, so ridiculous plus there is TONS of home work. like worst week of my life. or stressful/bad luck. I have bad luck. Very bad lucky. Something about me is just so unlucky. The luckiest thing about me is I have God. OK. this will be another blog about Boys. o man. here we go.
OK. 2 twin boys. not from school. SO SO Adorable. Hot? not really. They look to be a year or two younger which sux but damn. haha. stare at guys, creepy. haha. red head. lol. but not in school. no nvm, but they dreamy, in a two year/one year younger way.
ugh. drama guys-cute, but too much drama. really. its called lightening up. o well.
ugh. very cute drama guys though. shuuu don't tell.
lets see.
ugh. my wish. i like a guy. cause im boy crazy so i like lots of guys. forget about him. (doesn't mean I don't like him) one day he turns around and says i like you.
haha im a dork. ;). o and im going to homecoming. im going to homecoming. with a date. or not, with Katrina :)
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