Wet day before school.

OK. So I was riding my bike to try to get some exercise the last day before school. I cross the high way to get to the bike path and it starts to rain. Once before this happened but it shortly stopped. This time it got harder. I was so frustrated but didn't want to turn back. Bad move. It was a very bad choice. I have to cross a street, go down it, and cross back and a little after I crossed back to the other side, not back where I came from before, it started raining harder, and then even harder. It was pouring and my socks were getting soaked. Then I saw a shelter thing with picnic benches. I tried to dry my phone and call my mom but I still needed to face the music. I was freezing. It seemed to go down and tiny bit but when I got out there it became harder than before. It was pouring. This was seriously a problem, but then I turned out of the forest part along the street again. I was near Botanic gardens. I was that much closer to the high way. There it was. I crossed it and while I was waiting to cross the street, I didn't seem to notice the rain anymore. Through my neighbor hood it seemed to get better but as I pulled in my drive way it seemed to get worse. I had shorts on, a dark green t-shirt, and a very thin, tight, white sweat shirt that didn't skipper. only the thing it the middle could old it together. I put my bike in the back under the over hang and walked around to the front, opened and closed my door and I was inside. But I was soaked. I took off my shoes. They were filled with water. I took off my socks and they were gross. (this has a little detail) I took of my sweat shirt and put it in the bin, totally soaked. I took off my shorts and put them in the bin. My house was warm. It felt good. I took of my shirt, it was wet except for some of the back. I guess the sweat shirt had kept that part semi dry. my underwear and bra were wet too. Actually, they were soaked. I took a shower. YAY. but that was a horrible day. or moment. :) haha hope you enjoyed a story from my suffering.

Is it possible

This is probably going to be one of my most different blogs. I am going to try to make it as long as possible instead of just a couple seconds.

I know it's not possible for me to meet someone like him. I know it is not possible for him to see me. I know its not possible for me to get out of my house, out of my head, out of my e-life, out for the world to see me. Like I have posted before, I love myself, and the things I do. I wish other people could see it. I wish I could make them see it. I wish I laughed more often in front of them. Laughing. It is my favorite thing in the whole world. I am crazy for boys. Comfortable with my friend. Love to act. Feel free and inlove with sports but laughing. I would laugh 24/7 if I could. Anyways, whats possible for me? What is in my range?
So, is it possible for me to have that feeling. Is it possible for it to be real. Will it come unexpectedly. can I make it happen. Can I have the one I want. Can I have the one I need. Is he what I think, what I want.
I kind of have been in a bummed mood. It actually happens a lot. When I am really happy or exited about something and it goes away or I realize, well its not possible. Then I just in a mood where I don't feel like doing anything. It's hard to describe or I think even harder for other people to get. I would normally put this on my other blog. I don't have a name there, I am myself yet a mystery to everyone else but this is here because it's real. I am going to be honest. This is about a boy. Boys. Relationships. it's not only about that but that's what I think would make me happy. Nick Jonas HAHHA. ok maybe that's not exactly how i feel but here is a way to describe it. A metaphor. Now this happens to be a metaphor for something but is also completely true. Is it possible. It is pretty much asking, can you make your dream come true. When your not good enough? When people push you down? when millions of others want the same exact thing you do.
I tons of dreams. I have tons of things I would love to be when I grow up. Some our more realistic then others. I want to be a singer, I love making music videos. I have always wanted to be an actress. I want to own a day care. I want to be a painter. My most realistic dream is I want to be a wedding planner but people say that isn't possible either. So if my simplest dream isn't possible, (aka, boy) then what about the one I really want (aka, crush) or... What about the nearly impossible. Whats more likely out of these choices of jobs? Whats more likely out of these guys? What is more likely the guy i'd do anything for or the dream that would make my life? or is the answer none, no one, nothing.
Please don't comment this because there is no point. It's just a blog, and feelings are not all they seem on paper. But here's another thing.
Singing, im not the best, but even acting there is like no chance. I'd need a manager and even then it would be 1 in 10,000,000. But then again is being a wedding planner possible either? Sometimes it seems like that job that I could have, there is no way I can, so being an actress (famous heart throb haha) is just as likely as being a wedding planner (crush or even suprise guy). There's no chance. No possibility. Sometimes it is just how I feel. Nothing will ever happens. Sometimes that upsets me and other times it scares me. Collage North Western, never gonna happen. Mary Washington in Virginia, Is it possible?

3 hotties.

So, I havn't writen as many blogs (or about topics) that I wanted too so today im going to start.
This post is about the 3 celebrity guys im crushing on. Now, yes, there are a lot of smoking guys but 3 in particular are just wow. OK, so the first guy is, not very well know but he is extremely funny, and SO cute. His name is josh wolf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er3D0isu1Rs
Coincidentally, the next guy is Nick Jonas. NOW LISTEN!A while ago I used to like them (Jonas Brothers) and it made me mad because Kevin never sang + Joe is so stuckup. But I've been watching thing, that make him seem, kinda perfect. I don't really know what his personality is like but boy, what would I do to find out. lol. The next one is the total package. I love funny guys but he is also one of the hottiest/cutiest. Ryan Reynolds. If you don't know who is is go watch "the proposal" or "waiting" two hilarious movies. :) SO thats my top three. Comment on who is yous.

UMM!!! im not fat but this is mean

Alright. This is my response blog to guys blog I follow.
http://hobbes91.blogspot.com/2009/08/fat-chicks-in-mini-skirts.html
I think you should go to that link and read it but if not I will try to explain. The name of this post is fat chicks in mini skirts. It's about tips for the "looked challanged". Coincidentally the meanest thing he said, was that fat chicks shouldn't wear mini skirts because of their thighs. Like I said, I am 120, not really think but deffiantly not fat either but I have always been so unselfconscious of my thighs. This was NOT an ok remark but I will tell you everything he said that I agree with.
2. All guys. - tighty whiteys are not acceptable underwear any more. Go for the boxers or boxer brief
BUT NOO banana hammock eww. haha and I also agree, SPEEDOS ARE GROSS.
4. fat chicks - No thongs... umm thats a little mean too but see, I think if you wear a thong your a slut. Whats the point. yes, exactly. guys don't comment haha
7.dudes that wear pink - the people who told you real men where pink were lying to you. If you have to wear pink, make sure it's at least a manly looking pink.
This is COMPLETELY TRUE! Seriously. shirts that say pink real men wear pink, please. pink pollos ew. sometimes a nice dress shirt can be worn in pink but be careful.

Now. The tips Salena says you MUST follow.
1. guys. ask 5 girls what they would rate you on a scale from 1-10. you don't have an average of 8 or higher than you shouldn't have hair on your chest. It doesn't work.
2. Also guys. Hair is really gross but especially under your arm pits, shave it.
3. girls. I am not a fan of leggings but neon. NO. and im sorry but if you are over 175 don't ever wear these with out a knee length skirt.
4. Guys. Don't grow your hair out any more than two inches short of your neck
5. Girls, SHAVE. not your upper legs or arms though unless it's dark.
6. Guys. No short shorts, or tank tops if you have a beer belly
7. Girls. it's a tip you can or don't have to follow but try not to make up, or base. ESPECIALLY if you have ance, some maybe insecure but it really is only going to make it worse.
8. Guys. DON"T WEAR MAKEUP
9. Always smile and be confident, or else it's gonna bring you down.
10. Girls, Don't get implants that make you look to skinny (Adreena from the hills)

blog 7. **** he's hot. This is a great vacation

truth. I have another blog. I kinda want them to stay separate but idk... I'm gonna put this in here but i'm also going to have it in my other one as part of my "emosionsal" vacation. OK, so Im on vacation with courtney, rob, and jacki. THey are all really cool and i'm having a great time. it's so much fun. We get along so great. Rob is really cool and courtney well is a big flirt. She met this super cute 20 year old. He was always starting at her. It was funny bu they were cute. Rob was with my brother and the 20 year olds friend.Jacki and their third friend were all over eachother. Courtney, Rob and I met them in the hot tub one night and then the next day Courtney and I were hanging out with them and Jacki came. We went played beach vollyball, owww. that sand made me cry it was so hot. Now it hurts to walk. We also went into the ocean and talked. We all got along pretty well but the the really cute guy started talking about all the times he got drunk in collage. I thought to myself, this is why I am not seriously into older guys. Why would anyone want to drink that much. In some ways they are a lot less immature than kids.

An amazing day

I have a new blog but it's a bit more intense and private but I still am gonna contribute to this blog to. Alright. I love my fake cousins. They totally rock & I've been having a blast. I'm enjoying all of them. I think I have really matured and um just like one of them which is awesome. THey laugh at my jokes and boy did I have fun. + the night wasn't bad either ;). It's so wonderful! OK, and for those people who read my other blog, he texted me which was a really great. The second day I was gonna write more blogs but I didn't know what and texting him is more important :)

I love carma

I found a youtube channel that I really like. She write a script like a t.v. show and you read it with celebrities pictures in the back. The story lines are really good and im really impressed. Also im addicted. I started helping her out so people would see her channel. I have an account online where I have a lot of pictures. I don't go on it that much but on the site they have message boards. One of the sections in a pictures reading thread. I posted this video up there. People gave negative feedback because it had the jonas brothers but one person didn't look at what I wrote and rated me 10/10! :) It's late but that made my day. Hopefully it will continue to tomorrow. Always stick up for what you believe and stand by its side. Help others and carma will give you a nice ride! :)

The love of my life

OK. You guessed it! It's ME!!!
Why??? Because when I read something my commentary on it is amazing. How I say it is amazing. I should totally be a comedian. I love my laugh. I feel sophisticated, fun, beautiful, cool, and worthwhile. I just wish other people could see how awesome I am like I do. lol. I also wish I could say this better, but its kind of like when your crazy about a boy, you just love everything he does. Well, i love who I am. And that roxxs

lol. this was random. and short. but o well. AND read my last post. its a inspired from a great poem.

A curse or a blessing

This is my own version for a poem I found online.

This is going to be a very vague blog and not really too real. I also am going to write another one but I think I need to be a little more serious before I write my next very coincided one. haha.

Is it a curse that something that feels so good, that can consume my time and thoughts isn't as real or available as I want it to be. Is it a curse that I'm not such that what has been consuming most of my time may not be what I think. And even more so, everyday I think it is more not what I think. Is it a curse that I want it, not for it, but because I want something. Is it a curse that it might not even work if it was available and real. Is it a curse that while I would love it, it would not love me. It would realize that I'm not what it wants. That would not make me mad, as you will see in my next blog but feel wasted. Maybe regrets. And is it a huge curse that he could or does love me, and there fore I should be blessed, and even though I was it to be time consuming and no matter what it is thought consuming, I may not really want it. I could be interested in something else, something more, something real, something selfish.

It is a blessing that we fit so well on paper but that's all it is because if we saw each other face to face in a hallway or on a street could be hold a conversation. Could we be in each others presence and feel comfortable. Would we even notice each other. I don't think so. So is it a blessing that we met somewhere where even though its not ideal we enjoy our time around each other instead of being able to have full contact but not being interested in it or is it just another curse.

I think I wrote it better. lol. :) thanks for reading

Pay back on the food

Ok. So. Im going to tell you a secrete. I like boys. Haha well I like boys a lot. O.K. im fucking boy crazy. Especially with really cute boys and that I seem to have a connection with. And now I’ve started to think of them all as, well, food. I mean cause I LOVE food too.
I use to be into fettuccine Alfredo. Boy that stuff is good but it's really fattening. Its bad and unhealthy. Then I liked some guys that I got close with or some food that I was fond of, crackers and cheese. I love cheese and crackers and good but they taste amazing together, but they never fill me up. OK. so their is 1 food that I think taste good but I am not really interested in, and 3 that I kinda like right now.
Ok so cherries. I'm never to interested in having them but they are good in a drink. I can depend on them always tasting good, and making my drink look better but I never want them by themselves. then there is the sweet, pineapple. I never get pineapple but when I do get to taste it I love it. I just want more but maybe it wont be so good after a while, truth is i don't think i'll ever get to find out. OK. Now I LOVE me some noodles and cheese. Every day just more and more noodles with melted cheese, yummmy. But really its not all the satisfying. Some times I love but others it can just bring drama. wait. this is noodles and cheese. haha. But see I always ask for more noodles and cheese, even though I know I might never be able to perfect making it. And then there is the chocolate moose. omg am I in love with the chocolate moose. I don't get it that often but when I do every second is heaven but I never can. The problem is everything! Its hard to get and expensive.Everyone else wants it and I don't know if I can make it.
Ok. So what am I. Banana bread. I myself love banana bread but it isn't as appealing at first. Some may like it but only if they know what it's like. But once you taste some good banana bread, you love it. I noticed this first hard with a group of preschoolers at snack time. Most of the girls look at the bread and wouldn't eat it. but the guys actually gave it a shot, and then woolfed it down. I'm not sure if I really am banana bread but that ok cause I can still eat it. :)

Jealousy

This is definitely not something I like to talk about. I don't think girls like to admit they are much either. SO in this blog i will be talking about two things. 1. how other people feel about jealousy. and 2. when or what I feel when im going through it.
OK. Girls defiantly get jealous a lot. I do believe some girls are confident in who they are and want the best for others so they don't get jealous. I envy them. Now the thing is jealousy can work in so many ways. Girls can get jealous of the girlfriend of a guy they want or be the girlfriend and jealous of a hot girl the boyfriend is talking to. They can be jealous that their guy is spending so much time away from them or just peraniod because they spend some other time with other women. Girls can be idiot when they should trust their man, sometime the guy does get a little to close to women and its natural for them to be jealous even though they shouldn't and then their is the guy who is cheating and the only reason the girlfriend shouldn't be jealous is because he is scum.
Ok, now yes Woman do get jealous a lot but I think men do to and can be made jealous a lot more easily. A girl sometimes doesn't even need to do anything, a guy can look at her and her boy friend might get jealous. Guys can deal with it different way. Some take it out on their girl friends while other keep it inside. Some talk to the guy or get mad and others get violent.
Ok. now my part. hmm. I get jealous in different ways. Sometime of other people for having things I don't but not really. Mostly for relationship. Not always am I jealous of the girl for having the guy but of both of them for having each other and being happy. But the hard jealousy is when ur jealous of one person in particular over something specific. A million questions go through ones head. So back to me. Its even more complicated. I wanted things in the past but in some ways I didn't. Actually I didn't think I wanted a couple things. But when someone else gets them, its hurts. Its like your opportunity is gone even if you didn't want it.
So now I have a few questions for everyone who reads with. When one person say something and you feel like your going melt down and cry, what does that say? If you had a day in the other person shoes would it make you realize it really wasn't what you wanted or just make you want it more. OK. and now being jealous of a person because of another person. What if you want someone to be happy but then it hurt and you want a hug, but you wont get one. Do you walk away, or stay through the pain?

haha deep post lol. jealousy suck. but live can sux sometimes. But just remeber sometime it sucks for everyone and it can always get better, because you may be jealous of someone else but there is a really good chance someone is jealous of you. That means your lucky and you should be grateful, enjoy it and live your life.

First hair

So pretty, wierd, fucky. Short, long, stubs, gone, wavy, strait, curly, blonde, brown, red, and beautiful. Well, that hair (on your head) is not what I am talking about. Body hair. Lol funny subject. possibly. Well lets start from facial hair. Eyebrows-good. they should be plucked and No unibrow. ok for girls mustash is sad. :( for guys its weird, its called shaving. do it. and don't get me started on nose and ear hair. lol. alright now chest hair is gross. Some girls like the ohh manly, umm no. haha. and arm pit ((under pit)what I called it when I was younger,start using it :) lol) hair-could deffinatly be the worst kind of hair. Alright, guys shaving may be a little too metrosexual but i'd rather have that than yucky, sweaty, stringy arm hair. Ok, now hair down there. Lol. its something id really rather not discuss or there for think about. all i say is keep it clean. haha. butt hair eww. leg hair. idk, don't like it. but would I want a guy to shave idkkk.. and toe hair. urgg I hate it and it hurts like hell to pluck it haha.
So, yes this is a really random post but thats ok.